The objective of this empath healing guide is to empower all the empaths to protect themselves from toxic energies, traumas and better understand themselves to not only survive but thrive in the world.
Life can be difficult as an empath. Empaths tend to expose themselves to all kinds of energies fully. While they do that out of compassion for others; but end up getting hurt sometimes.
Empaths cannot bear the pain of others. While discussing other people’s trauma and misery, they feel their pain as if it’s happening to them.
However, this kind of behavior makes an empath vulnerable to manipulation and abuse from toxic people. Prolonged exposure to toxicity can result in psychosomatic illnesses.
As an empath, I have lived almost half of my life in stress, anxiety, and depression. But things changed the moment I took charge of my life. I told myself, enough is enough. I put an end to all nonsense and stood up for myself, and my life changed significantly thereafter.
For the past couple of years, I have been working sincerely on my physical and mental health. At this stage, I can confidently say that I’m a positive and fully empowered person. I’m strong enough to face and deal with the challenges of life.
Knowledge empowers us, and that’s why I decided to write this article. It’s for the benefit of all empaths out there who are still struggling in life. It’s for all those who are suffering and are the victims of emotional and mental abuse.
I will share some insights that will give you the courage to stand up for yourself. There’s no shame in being an empath. You must learn to shield yourself from negative influences and block unpleasant energies.
Therefore, I’ll request you to set aside a few minutes of your time, put your smartphone on silent, and grab that cup of coffee to get started.
How to Identify Toxic People?
Identifying toxic people is not hard. If you feel uneasy or restless after an interaction, there’s a great chance that the person you were interacting with was toxic. Such people leave you with an unpleasant feeling which can last for many days.
Generally, most empaths are highly sensitive to bad auras and negative energies. If you are anything like me, you can sense what’s going on in the very first interaction. However, this ability comes through either experience or by developing a strong intuition.
Some of the signs of toxic people are as follows:
- People who provoke you time and again. They know about your triggers (what puts you off or makes you angry) and leave no opportunity to press them.
- They show passive-aggressive behavior. For example, making a taunting comment in the guise of a joke.
- They lack empathy and compassion.
- They don’t understand the concept of boundaries.
- They engage in gossips and criticism of other people.
- They have complete disregard for your thoughts and emotions.
- When every conversation is about them. How miserable their life is and how they are the victim in every situation.
- They never appreciate nor want to listen to your point of view.
- You feel drained after an interaction with them (leave you with a bad feeling).
- They are master manipulators and use gaslighting techniques that make you question your sanity.
However, it’s important to understand that all toxic people are not bad. They should not be viewed as evil entities.
We are all pure souls undergoing a journey to discover our true selves, which is nothing but divine love. It’s just that toxic people are unaware of that fact, and they operate unconsciously.
But at the same time, the above statement is not an excuse to allow anyone to manipulate you or induce feelings of guilt and shame within you. If someone isn’t treating you the way you deserve to be treated, you have every right to do what is necessary to get back your peace of mind.
Toxic people can have a terrible impact on our life. And as an empath, we have the right to protect ourselves against such energies.
I’m sharing a few ways how I protect myself from negative energies. I urge you to keep this list handy and refer to it time and again. I’m sharing below a few ways to heal yourself as an empath.
#1 – Practicing Solitude: Learn to Spend Time with Yourself
As an empath, we tend to absorb a lot of energies (both positive and negative), and it can extremely overwhelming sometimes. Over time, It can cause stress, restlessness, irritation, insomnia, anxiety, depression, and weaken our immune system.
Spending time alone is one of the most difficult things to do. Because we’re scared of being with ourselves. But it is one of the most effective ways to deal with powerful afflicting emotions.
However, if you’re suffering from severe mental issues, please consider taking help – talk to a therapist or speak to someone close – before you consider spending time alone. Don’t be afraid to seek help.
Spending time in solitude allows us to explore our inner world. We get to know what’s going on inside. It’s hard initially cause we’re not used to being alone. But we understand the essence of solitude; we realize how profound it can be.
Being alone means that you remain are all by yourself. That means no phones, tabs, television, or any other distraction. You are never alone when surrounded by devices.
When alone, you are all by yourself. Start by spending 10 minutes every day and gradually increase it to 45 minutes or 1 hour, as and when you start feeling comfortable. Reflect on your thoughts and feelings.
Embrace positive thoughts that empower you and let go of the negative thoughts that bring you down.
I know it sounds scary, but when you learn to be comfortable in your own company, you experience unconditional joy and bliss, and you rid yourself of all the negativity that drains you.
#2 – Create a Protective Energy Shield: Don’t Allow Yourself to be Manipulated
Toxic people are all around us, and sometimes it can be tough to avoid them. How do you avoid a toxic boss, coworker, or family member? What to do then?
If you get stuck in an unpleasant situation, follow this simple exercise. Take slow deep breaths, focusing only on the exhalations. Inhalations should be natural, but exhalations, slightly forced.
Another way is to observe your heartbeats while something or someone is stressing you. Don’t try to defend yourself by engaging in the conversation. Maintain your focus on the out-breath or heartbeats.
The idea is to create a protective shield that blocks negative energies from seeping in. It protects you from falling into the trap laid out by others. Some people always try to provoke and engage.
The very purpose of creating this protective shield is not to allow people to manipulate and mess with your mind. When you can do that, you render them powerless. And then, you are in full control of yourself.
I admit that this is not an easy task. It requires training the mind. But once you sufficiently train yourself, you’ll emerge as a powerful person.
Don’t deliberately expose yourself to toxicity to test your patience, but practice this technique whenever you encounter an unpleasant situation.
Sometimes our loneliness causes us to seek support from other people, but if they lack empathic qualities, the chances are that you will be manipulated and exploited. Seek help only from compassionate, empowering, uplifting, and empathic people like yourself.
#3 – Learn to Face and Confront Your Fears
Take note of how we distract ourselves when an unpleasant feeling arises. The easiest solution is to pick numb your mind by immersing yourself in the virtual world. But the pain never subsides. It comes back with a vengeance.
To avoid our real feelings, we resort to unhealthy distractions like alcohol, smoking, video games, porn, drugs, comforting foods, and much more. Anything that numbs the mind.
We go for short dopamine hits rather than addressing the root cause of our issues. But this kind of suppression often leads to further psychological problems. Over time it leads to serious anxiety and debilitating depression.
Fears are not just a part of the conscious but the whole psyche. Our subconscious holds many emotions and traumas that manifest as fears on the conscious surface of the mind.
We tend to internalize our fears. We like to avoid confrontations and arguments, even if it takes a toll on us. That’s one of the reasons why empaths are often taken advantage of. They have had time saying NO.
#4 – Set Firm Boundaries and Enforce Them
People take advantage of the fact that empaths have difficulties with enforcing boundaries. Taking advantage of their compassionate nature, some people violate boundaries.
Seven years back when I was working for a major corporation in India, some of my coworkers used to approach me with their personal problems during working hours.
Initially, I entertained them, but after a while, it started affecting my work. I felt drained continually listening to complaints and sob stories.
The problem was that I didn’t want to upset anybody, so I never said NO. I was a people-pleaser. I felt that saying ‘No’ to people will make them think less of me. I wanted to get along and maintain that image of being nice and dependable.
I worked late hours. I agreed to do all kinds of tasks – even the ones that were way below my skill. I worked during holidays, rarely took sick leave, sacrificed family time, and so on.
I was too agreeable. And it created a lot of pain internally. Over time, I become miserable, started getting into depression, and self-esteem was at its lowest.
Even outside work, I continued my people-pleasing behavior with friends and relatives. Realizing my empathic nature, one of my relatives started calling me every night in an inebriated state.
He would go on and on for hours discussing his personal matters. I kept listening because I didn’t want him to think of me as rude or insensitive.
Once I was empowered, I realized the toxicity of my behavior. This self-knowledge gave me the courage to confront him and assert my boundaries. The guy was not looking for a solution to his problems. All he wanted to do was dump his emotional load on me.
We are entitled to your peace of mind, and that’s not selfish. We need to set up healthy boundaries with people, no matter how close the relationship is. Nobody has a right to cross our boundaries.
Some of the ways you can set up firm boundaries are as follows:
- Make it clear that you are not to be disturbed while working unless important and related to work.
- Don’t allow anyone to disturb you during your ‘alone’ time.
- If you are upset with someone’s behavior, make sure to let them know.
- Say absolute ‘No’ to unreasonable requests and don’t give excuses or explanations.
- Avoid people who don’t get a clue and keep bothering you again and again. If they get unreasonable, take action against them.
At times, people try to blackmail us into doing things we despise emotionally. It is often our close friends and family members that we have a hard time dealing with.
Saying NO will be a lot uncomfortable in the beginning because you’re attempting to set up a boundary. You may even feel guilty (or ashamed), but don’t pay heed to such feelings. Stand your ground and be firm with your boundaries.
Over time, people will understand and start respecting your boundaries. Make the message loud and clear that you’re not a pushover.
Believe me when I tell you that people with strong ethics and boundaries easily earn more respect and trust than those with weak boundaries.
#5 – Developing Self-Awareness: Silence the Inner Critic
Developing self-awareness is extremely important for empaths. But what exactly is self-awareness? It is being in touch with your inner self. It’s about the following:
- Being in touch with your true feelings and emotions.
- Knowing your strengths and weaknesses.
- Knowing your habits and behaviors.
- Knowing what motivates you and what pulls you down.
In other words, self-awareness is realizing your real nature and being honest with yourself. An empath should be self-aware. We should be aware of weaknesses, triggers, and vulnerabilities. That way, we can work on them and build resilience.
We should be aware of the inner critic that keeps chattering continually. A crucial aspect of empath healing involves shutting the negative incessant chatter of the mind.
Some of the ways the inner critic plays out in the mind are as follows:
- “I need other people’s validation”
- “I’m unworthy of success”
- “I didn’t deserve that promotion”
- “Others are far better than I am”
- “It’s all my fault”
- “I have always failed”
- “I’m a disappointment to everybody”
When people are unkind, call them out there and then. Don’t try to accommodate or justify your position excessively. Tell them you felt bad and that you would not be interested in keeping further association if they continued with such behavior.
Sometimes it is hard confronting people like your boss, or someone higher authority in your workplace. But if you continue to cave, you’re giving them the consent to continue with bad behavior.
One of the best ways to develop self-awareness is through mindfulness practice. Mindfulness allows us to witness our thoughts and emotions without creating any judgment or reaction.
The greater mindfulness we have, the more self-aware we are. The more self-aware we are, the more emotionally secure we feel. It’s impossible to bully or manipulate an emotionally secure person.
Self-awareness creates kindness for oneself and others. I have been practicing mindfulness and meditation for the past six years, and I can confidently say that It has made me much more self-aware.
If you want more information about mindfulness, you can check out the following articles:
Don’t allow people to manipulate and treat you as a puppet. If you’re the kind of person who easily gets provoked by other people, then it’s time to look inside and get rid of that fear that stops you from standing up for yourself.
#6 – Practice Self-Love
People often get confused between self-love and self-pleasuring. Believe me, self-pleasuring is not what I’m talking about here. LOL.
Self-love is the most important thing when it comes to healing yourself. Most people underestimate the power of practicing self-love, and most don’t even understand exactly what it is. Some even believe that it’s selfish to practice self-love. No, it’s not.
Self-love is the most crucial part of your healing process. It is all about understanding yourself.
It starts with self-awareness (that I discussed in the previous section) and involves forming the right habits to build physical and emotional resilience.
It’s all about empowering yourself by living a mindful-healthy lifestyle and removing negative influences.
Here are some of the ways in which you can practice self-love:
Sweat it Out: Workout Everyday
Engage in physical activity every single day. This sounds very cliché, but this is one of the most important aspects of practicing self-love. Your body is meant to do work.
It would help if you released those endorphins (happy hormones) to feel good. This does not mean that you have to form a strict regimen or join an expensive gym.
You can do simple activities like going out for a brisk walk, jogging, taking stairs instead of the elevator, playing your favorite sport, mowing the lawn, doing yoga and stretching exercises, and more.
The intensity of your workout should be such that you should sweat a little while doing it. Whatever you do; maintain consistency.
It goes without saying, but if you eat crappy food, you will feel crappy most of the time. Do you know that we have more gut bacteria (microbiome) cells than human cells in our bodies?
The ratio is 10 to one. And recent scientific research shows that gut bacteria have a tremendous influence on our mind and overall health.
Start eating healthy food. Stop consuming empty calories by eating high-carb sugary foods. Beware of food items that have lots of sugar concealed within them like cookies, energy drinks, pasta, etc.
Eat fresh organic vegetables, fresh fruits, juices, nuts, seeds, probiotics, and drink lots of water. Overall, avoid packaged food items.
Go easy on your caffeine consumption. I’m not telling you to stop it completely, but be mindful of your intake. Drinking more than the daily recommended dosage (400 milligrams a day) can cause restlessness and anxiety.
Eating healthy is about consciously programming your mind to eat the right foods. It takes time to get used to, but it’s a life changer in the long run.
Reduce Your Screen Time
According to a recent study, there’s an association between screen time and increased risk of anxiety and depression.
Honestly, I don’t need a study to understand this. My spending excessive time on screens was causing … ANXIETY. I’m a software developer by profession, and I generally spend somewhere around 8 to 10 hours every day working on my laptop every day.
Watching screens outside of my work becomes straining for my eyes and mind.
For most people, it’s not the work we do sitting with computers that causes problems. The extra time we spend on social media and other entertainment apps is what creates addiction and stress.
That’s one reason why I keep most of the notifications OFF on my smartphone. I have also stopped watching violent shows on OTT platforms, including news channels.
I believe that media thrives on negative information. Consuming negative content (especially crime shows) alters our brain’s neural pathways. It is devastating for our mental health. I give a d%@# about FOMO.
If there’s some information of significance, It reaches sooner or later. I mindfully choose to consume content that contributes to personal growth and creates a positive impact.
Since we have the power of choice, we should know when to shut down the devices. Reducing screen time not only helps in relieving stress and anxiety but also promotes sound sleep.
Get Good Sleep
While sleeping, we get transported to a different dimension where we have no recollection of the daily waking life experiences. We don’t even have a recollection of time.
Let alone deep sleep, most of us don’t even experience REM (rapid eye movement) sleep (the state in which we get dreams). This is also why many people struggle to reduce weight.
Insomnia is a major problem these days, and not getting enough sleep causes many psychosomatic problems. Our minds and body need proper rest.
Good sleep strengthens our immune system and gives our body the time to rejuvenate and repair.
#7 – Don’t Engage in Negative Behaviors
A couple of years back, engaging in gossips and criticism was common for me. I used to work in a very toxic environment where the idea of pulling back others to move ahead was covertly encouraged.
These unconscious acts or what we call operating in the default mode was a common phenomenon. But at the root, it clearly indicated insecurities and low self-esteem.
Spending time working in such environments, I lost touch with my real self. As mentioned earlier, I became a compulsive people-pleaser. And the worst part of it was that I thought all of this was normal. The society we live in normalizes toxic behaviors and rationalizes fear.
Engaging in gossips was one of the worst things. Most people underestimate the addictive nature of this toxic habit. It excites us for a few moments but leaves us with an empty feeling afterward.
Most of us know it’s a bad habit, yet we feel powerless in the face of our compulsive tendencies.
Whenever I found an opportunity, I hung out with my coworkers during break times, and we criticized our boss, our workplace, and other staff members.
I used to do character assassination, wield personal attacks, and engage in all kinds of obnoxious things you can think of. I’ll openly admit that I did all of that. Instead of dealing with my innermost troubles, I relieved myself by venting frustrations on other people.
Over time it became a habit that was beyond my conscious control. I started feeling horrible. I started hating myself evermore.
I didn’t realize that this bad habit would come back to haunt me at that time. As karma says, “Whatever you do comes back to you at some point.”
The people I used to gossip about started gossiping about me. They started propagating false rumors and cooked up stories. Things got so bad that I had to quit my job.
Just because of a bad habit (which seemed very harmless), I lost an opportunity to work on a big project. I sat at home, was filling out resumes, and was hoping to get another job. It was one of the most stressful times of my life.
I was getting back my karma …
We often dismiss gossips and criticism as casual and harmless activities meant in good humor, but it’s never casual or harmless when it happens to us. It’s the negative energy within you that is manifesting and finding expressions.
We unintentionally get drawn into this pool of negativity. Empathizing with other people, we usually get carried away. The takeaway is: recognize that gossiping is a bad habit and check yourself mindfully whenever you get an urge to engage in one.
Learn to realize the situation and excuse yourself from any opportunity to engage in self-destructive behavior.
#8 – Spend More Time in Nature
Nature nourishes and heals us. When we spend time in nature, healing happens automatically. It exists to support life and its processes and has a profound effect on our body and mind.
It doesn’t mean that you have to take exotic vacations or go to expensive retreats (although there’s nothing wrong with that). It can be something as simple as going for a stroll in a nearby park.
Be sure to keep your phone on silent so that you make the most out of it. Don’t allow distractions to disturb you.
Most of us make the mistake of carrying our smartphones everywhere. One call from the workplace and the entire time gets wasted. You’re out there physically, but your mind is engaged somewhere else.
When you’re out in nature, observe the minutest details. Enjoy the colorful scenery, smell the flowers, and appreciate the beautification and magnificence given to you. It’s a gift.
We experience stress because most of our time is spent sitting on a desk working in a closed cubical that is devoid of fresh air and sunlight.
Remind yourself to go out every couple of minutes and breathe in the fresh air. Don’t feel scared exposing your skin to sunlight for a few minutes.
#9 – Avoid Things That Drain Your Energy
The vital energy that flows within us is a precious resource. It is this energy that separates us from dead things. Therefore, it’s important to spend time on activities that increase your vital energy, such as yoga, mindfulness, meditation, etc.
Some people are energy drainers by habit. They target you because they know you won’t say NO. Have you ever experienced a situation where someone discussed their personal matters, and they felt better afterward, leaving you exhausted?
That’s because they release negative energy that you sucked up. Just staying in the presence of such people even for a few minutes can be very draining for the mind and body, and you have every right to excuse yourself from the presence of such people.
We suck up a lot of unwanted energies forgetting that we have a life of our own. That we have our own needs. We should be compassionate toward others, but not at the cost of our own well-being.
We tend to oblige people by putting up fake expressions. The fake smile you wear to come across as pleasant can KILL YOU (speaking literally). You shouldn’t feel compelled to behave in a way that is pleasing to others.
Toxic people often try to provoke by stirring up a confrontation, playing victim, or making sly comments. These people suffer from low self-esteem, and projection is the only way they know to relieve themselves. They create a convincing drama to get you all sucked in.
Sharing your aura with these people is a major energy drain, and it often ends in you feeling low. You must observe and understand their patterns of behavior and protect yourself from negative energy. To do so, we should learn to deal with such situations.
#10 – Associate with Positive People Who Uplift You
It’s important to isolate yourself physically and emotionally from all the drama kings and queens whenever possible. It’s also important to spend time with positive and uplifting people. Negative people drain and deplete, whereas the positive ones recharge your energy.
So the next question that comes to mind is – how do we reach out to positive people?
According to my experience, the best way to attract positive people is by changing our own vibrations. Which means we have to train our minds to think positively. Till you carry negativity in your aura, nobody will be willing to engage with you.
When you raise your vibrations, you create a space of comfort and trust, and like-minded people are automatically drawn to you or you to them. Whatever the case, you are welcomed with love and warmth.
Forcing yourself by interrupting people or stocking them on social media will not help. You will come across as needy and desperate – a clear indication of a negative aura.
Be patient, be self-aware, trust the universe, and continue self-development work. Create value for others and help them raise their vibrations. Teach yourself self-compassion and self-empathy.
#11 – Learn to Forgive
Forgiveness is a deep subject and requires a detailed explanation. However, I’ll briefly touch upon it here to give you an idea of how important it is to forgive.
What does forgiveness mean? Does it mean that we forgive people who violate our boundaries? Does it also mean that we let people get away with their unkind actions?
ABSOLUTELY NOT … Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you let people get away with bad behavior. It really means that you release yourself from the feelings of hatred and revenge you’ve been carrying for a long time.
Forgiveness is for us and not for the abuser. It enables us to go ahead and enjoy life. For example, if someone in your family abused you as a child, you have every right to be angry and resentful towards that person.
You have the right to protect yourself from physical and emotional harm. No one in the world should have the right to make you feel bad about yourself. And you have every right to shun people who do not respect your boundaries.
But after a certain period of time (it can be 1, 2, or 4 years) you should eventually forgive. It does not mean that you get back together with the abuse.
On the contrary, you break contact (or keep limited contact depending on the situation) and allow yourself to move on.
Harboring feelings of hate and revenge will hurt you even more than what you felt at the time of being abused. I know it’s painful, and it takes time. Trust me; I’ve been there.
Forgiveness is the final step in healing. It’s the most difficult step and takes time, but it’s crucial for complete healing.
I see people angry, resentful, and depressed, even when they’re no more in contact with their abuser. And the main reason is that they are unable to forgive.
To enable yourself to forgive, you have to practice a lot of self-love and self-compassion. Only when we love ourselves do we learn to let go of the internal traumas.
Let it go … Let it go …
#12 – Practice Gratitude
Practicing gratitude helps accelerate the healing process. We learn to see the big picture and realize that nature has been kind enough to place the mechanisms that help us heal.
When I’m in a bad mood, I go outside for a walk all by myself. Whenever I’m outside, I feel the warmth of the sun, the stroke of fresh air on my skin, the tuneful chirping of the birds, the exotic colors of nature, and so much more.
I feel great gratitude towards life because it has provided everything that I need to be happy. This life is a great opportunity to learn and grow. Practicing gratitude makes that experience truly blissful.
Notice how everything around is in perfect order to sustain life. For example, if the tilt of the earth changes even by a tiny fraction, all life will collapse.
The sun provides us with light without which we can not see the beauty of this planet. The moon balances the tides and regulates the ocean.
Feel grateful for whatever you have like your loved ones, friends, family, work, shelter, food, clothing, and more.
Practice gratitude every day. You can repeat positive affirmations, keep a gratitude journal, express gratitude towards people who support and uplift you, and positively impact your life.
Calm Your Mind by Practicing Meditation
Empaths are susceptible to abuse from toxic people because they expose themselves by being compassionate. Toxic people see virtues like empathy and compassion as weakness and prey upon those who exhibit these.
At times, it’s difficult to shield yourself from negative influence. Especially if the person in question is a family member or someone with a powerful position and influence. What to do then?
The truth is that there is no way to escape toxic people in this life. At some point or another, you are likely to come across such people. However, nothing can create affliction once we know our true nature.
Once empowered, you will have the strength to deal with all kinds of challenges life throws. Additionally, you can clear out negative energies by practicing mindfulness and meditation.
The more self-aware you are, the better you’ll be at protecting yourself from negative influence. Meditation helps in clearing the karma and increasing the vital energy flow within the spiritual chakras. It enables us to live a life full of bliss and joy.
One of the best ways to incorporate meditation in your daily routine is to set aside a few minutes (say 10 to 15 minutes) every day and clear out the negativity.
Take a trip to the inner world and get to know what’s going on. The more you practice meditation, the better you will get at it. It might take some time to get to know yourself cause you’ve never done that before.
But in the end, it’s really worth the effort.
For complete information on Meditation, benefits, breathing exercises, how-to’s, and more, check out – The Ultimate Meditation Guide eBook.
I would suggest you bookmark this article and refer to it time and again. This way, you can constantly be reminded and keep yourself protected from all toxicity sources.
Being an empath is not a curse, as many people mistakingly believe. It is a gift from the divinity that must be cherished and preserved by you. It empowers your soul for further growth and helps in spiritual awakening. It is an indication that you are transforming your animal natural and merging with divinity – your higher self.
Please understand that there are times you will feel a little low and depressed, but that should not make you hate yourself. Sometimes, our mind turns against us, and it can be a powerful and intimidating adversary to deal with. But that’s okay.
Don’t try and fight the mind. Surrender and let it go. Understand that the one that feels the hurt is EGO. Your mind is just an instrument whose only job is to create thoughts. It’s the ego that distorts thinking and creates unpleasant emotions.
Following what we’ve discussed in the sections above, you can train yourself to think in a certain way and subdue the ego.
Start working on yourself and make that change. You cannot change the way people think, but you certainly can change the way you think.
It’s essential for you, as an empath, to empower yourself and build resilience against negativity and toxicity. You are that pure soul that is far ahead in the process of spiritual awakening, and you must not let go of that.
That’s all I have for you today. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this article. If you did, please share it with others and help me in my endeavor to raise human consciousness.